I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
nutella sex= disaster
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
