She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
