first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize