I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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