I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
