im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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