He disabled his match.com account in front of me
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
