whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
