You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
