and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
