The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
i need to put some appletini on your dick
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just want to make out with him forever
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
