I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
