their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
