this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
