i just wanna soil my oats bro
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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