did you get engaged???
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
