Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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