Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
