I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
