i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
