Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize