what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
