Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
