so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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