I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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