This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
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