Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
