Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize