It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
