i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
