Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
