Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
