i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
