he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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