take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
