i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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