Say something about gay babies.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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