So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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