you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
