I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
