You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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