im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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