He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize