worst night to have a conscience
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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