I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
