I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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