i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
