Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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