I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
