can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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