the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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