Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He's on the porch naked. Help.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
