In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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