That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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