If that was your dad, he is hot
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
