We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
