I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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