I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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