i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
